The Comfort Zone
The beautiful sphere of your world.
Surrounded by people you love. Spending time doing things you love. Have a job you love (maybe?). Eat what you love (sometimes too much). You have pretty things that you love (sometimes too many). Posted on social media those very things you love (again…sometimes too much).
Sounds great right! The ultimate life goal. Comfy comfort zone.
But you want MORE. You’re not a greedy person and are grateful for what you have BUT you want to grow.
Grow as a person; grow career wise; you want to have more connections (not 3 million facey friends). You want to keep those meaningful relationships with the people you love. No, I don’t mean ‘liking’ more of their social media posts either.
You want more ‘things’……. more PURPOSE (whatever that means?)……More IMPACT (whatever the hell that means?!)……… more MORE MORE!
This is me, that was one of my regular brain explosions.
“How To Live Your Life” For Dummies
I have had a fortunate life, I don’t mean being a trust fund baby. I’ve worked since I was 15, usually several jobs at a time. But I had a stable family life, I never went hungry, I always had a place to sleep and I always had plenty of love.
I went to school.
Married my high school sweetheart.
Moved to the other side of the world to the Big Apple.
Now a stay at home Mum starting a biz!
Various sprinkles of getting completely obsessed with various crafts throughout this journey!
So I’m pretty average right, actually sounds like it came out of a “How To Live Your Life; For Dummies” guidebook. So if I’ve never been homeless, hungry, a victim of crime why do I care so much about these things?! Obviously, my family planted some great empathy genes into me.
What’s That Tugging At Me?
Whilst a sense of global empathy had always tugged away at me. I was too busy working, living, mom’ing, volunteering and playing.
Never time to fulfill that sense of action because it was easier not to. Easier to stay in a steady job; and earn steady money rather than getting out there and trying to create something more in alignment with my values.
It’s what the author of The Happiness Project Gretchen Rubin refers to as – drift:
“…..the decision you make by not deciding, or by making a decision that unleashes consequences for which you don’t take responsibility.”
You know, where you just float along with whatever comes along – school, uni, job, promotion, mortgage…….
Take the quiz; are you drifting?!
Looking For The Enigma
Like many, I’ve always been ‘looking’ for that something, that dang enigma; ‘purpose’.
I can see it – from the comfort of my shiny sphere, blurry and effervescent through the glass. But I can’t reach it, and it won’t come on over voluntarily (funny that) and I know exactly why.
Because it’s not meant to be easy; despite what it seems like, “Your Purpose” needs to be Created, by you…… it’s not an off-the-shelf kinda thang. So you gots to get outta that shiny sphere of your world you built. Go shopping in the ‘What’s Out There Shoppe’ to grow, find, create. (Hey – if you’ve built your perfect sphere and don’t want/need to change; more power to ya….PS. Tell Us The Secret!!)
How to feed my “more” syndrome
READING! Stretching the brain to review how, and where I was looking for the enigma ‘purpose’, I buried my head in piles of books.
Gretchen Rubin ( a former lawyer turn writer ) has an informative blog on habits and happiness. After seeing her speak in New York about her latest book Better Than Before
, I was reading her blog and resonated with her Four Splendid Truths
. In particular, the “atmosphere of growth”.
This combined with my fav passage by Elizabeth Gibson in Big Magic……..
Sparkle + Conquer was born! To grow and challenge my skills; feed my thirst for knowledge; create a community of like-minded peeps; build something that has a positive social impact; accept my social responsibility and just Start taking action towards the Social Good Lifestyle I aspire to!
Having a positive social impact and being a changemaker is on a lot of people’s “to-do list” but can’t start to act on it due to time, energy, money, fear of not doing enough to make a diff.
Being (Social) ‘Good’ Enough?
I’m not (right now) a Social Good Living Guru because I lack the knowledge. BUT I’m a busy Mom who is gonna tackle it in toddler sized bites who wants to share the journey.
Not being social good enough was what was holding me back from starting this journey. Fear that people would be like “I’m not listening to her. She has no idea about the ethical/sustainable/social impact space…..she’s just another Mommy Blogger”. Imposter syndrome thingy; fear of failure; not being “social good” enough! Says Who?
But you have to start small.
You can take a few small steps and have a great impact. You DON’T have to be 1000% all in, your 1% of changing a habit for a positive social impact matters.
I was talking to my girlfriend about this ‘imposter syndrome’ thang the other day. Sometimes it could be the “labels” that stop us from trying and stay inside our safe circle for fear of being called out.
You know; not attempt to change habits. Like taking your own cup to the cafe because you buy the cookies wrapped in plastic. Subconsciously you don’t want to send out that signal that you are a conscious consumer. You want to save a single use cup but then worried someone will call you out for buying plastic wrapped cookies.
So for me; I worried that I wasn’t ready to open a biz labeled “Social Good” because I didn’t live “social good enough”. Plus it’s easier to be snuggled up in your comfort zone right?
You Can Take Parts Of Lifestyles You Like, Try Them and If They Don’t Fit See If You Can Put Your Own Twist On It.
But Hey – here I am. Part of this blog is about my journey to find and test things to build a balanced social good lifestyle. Which means getting out of my comfort zone. Stretching beyond my (perceived) terrarium. Changing and challenging my thought patterns. Thinking outside the shiny spherical walls to see what’s on the outside – where will it take me?
I haven’t fully created the pathway to lock down that wiggly enigma ‘purpose’ BUT I’ve entered the maze to find her.
Try It; It Won’t Bite
Don’t believe me? Here are some more great reasons to get out of your comfort zone.
The journey to social good living has only just begun. You don’t need to sacrifice, subscribe to a lifestyle you don’t enjoy or thrive on; try things, if it don’t flow, it don’t go…..yo (wow must be time to wrap it up, bad Mum rhymes coming out of my brain and Grammarly is not happy with this word structure)…..
An essence of Sparkle + Conquer
So this is an essence of Sparkle + Conquer.
You can Sparkle, shine bright and be you AND Conquer those goals, dreams.
AND have an impact on whatever it is you want (and whatever that means).
Write down 3 things that you’ve procrastinated about that you KNOW want to do, BUT don’t because it’s that bit too hard. Take the time to arrange to DO THEM.
Nothing Changes If Nothing Changes.
- CHANGE YOUR ROUTINE
“I want to live a social good lifestyle but I have NO TIME to find out how.”
ACTION TAKEN: Started reading more blogs and info in the social good living space; in place of Netflix. I was inspired within 10 minutes of doing this!
- MAKE TIME + COMMIT
” I want to start a business BUT I’m in a foreign country; have no idea how to start and I only have an hour a day to myself blah blah etc.”
ACTION TAKEN: I started making time to commit to meet inspiring people that did know what they were doing. So I started hitting RSVP on Meet Ups and events that had tons of people that knew what they schizz they were doing!
3. WHAT’S HOLDING YOU BACK? WORST VS BEST CASE SCENARIO
” What if I do all this work and no one buys anything and I have no impact…..”
ACTION TAKEN: I learned this great exercise from Alison; a crazy and brilliant lady of Wonderlass.
Basically, to reframe your mindset:
- Write down the WORST case scenario of whatever it is you are afraid of.
- Write the BEST case scenario.
When you see them on paper you’ll likely see the worst case scenario isn’t that bad, or contingencies can easily be put into place.
Plus the BEST case scenario is totally possible………So IMAGINE if you made it HAPPEN!
New Thought Path: F&^% The “What Ifs” and JUST DO IT.
What Will You Try Today To Get Outside Of Your Terrarium?
P.S. Need Some More Inspiration?!
Check out our inspirational Manifestation Tattoos to give you a boost.Bonus: The karma you will get for supporting a social biz…… it will blow up the universe.